A Little Admiration

“Good Evening, beautiful ladies,” gushed the waiter, with a thick Eastern European accent, as we slid into the booth, bags flying everywhere. We took longer than it should to finally settle all our things giving him more ammunition to keep the conversation going. “Do you always carry so many things with you? And that ring. The big ring. Is it for fighting off the boys? Do you like trouble? Do you get into trouble? I bet you are trouble.”

My friend, Red, and my mouths’ dropped as he took our shock and speechless-ness as an opportunity to continue. “Me, myself, I am a bad boy. I am very naughty. Would you like some drink?”

Red : “Umm, this bottle of white wine please” pointing to the list.

As he rushed off we looked at each other and wondered “did that really just happen?” He was gone about five minutes when he arrived with the bottle of wine. “Do you like to taste? I bet you like to taste.” By this point Red was giggling, I was still a little taken aback.

Me : “Umm, sure I’ll taste”

Waiter : “Yes, yes, it’s very good”

We placed our order and he fluttered around the restaurant while we went on catching up about work, boys and the latest gossip. He popped in occasionally to top up our glasses and comment on our drinking patterns. “You do not seem to be drinking. Is there a little man under the table with a long straw stealing your wine?” Red’s laugh fills the restaurant. He continues “I think you do like trouble. I think you are a naughty girl”

Me : “Us? No … we don’t try to be trouble”

Waiter : “I know women. I study them and the ones that say they aren’t naughty are always the naughtiest”

Red : “Is this really happening?” managed to say through despite the belly laughs she couldn't seem to control.

Me : “Umm”

Waiter : “Yes, yes. I love the women. I like to play with the women.”

Red laughs harder.

Me : “Oh wow … interesting”

Waiter : “I can cook too”

Red : “You can? What do you cook?”

Waiter : “Pasta. So good” as he pushes his fingers together and kisses them.

He holds out his hand, “I’m Raphael. Guess where I’m from?”

We shake his hand.

Waiter : “Oh wow! You have a very confident hand shake.”

Me : “I do?”

Waiter : “Yes. Yes. You are confident. You know what you want and you like to get it. But I think you are also soft inside and care deeply for others”

Red : “Seems pretty spot on”

Me : “Are you a psychic now too?”

Waiter : “No. I just read people well. So where are you from? America?”

Both of us : “Yes.”

Waiter : “Guess where I come from?”

Red : “Umm … Italy? Turkey? We don’t know just tell us”

Waiter : “Only one more chance! I am Polish. I am from Krakow. You must go? Have you gone?”

Red : “Nope, I want too”

Me : “I’ve been to Poland but not Krakow”

Waiter : “Oh! I will take you home to meet my family and you will love my family. My mother is a good cook. Ok, we will go.”

Red laughs, “This is moving fast!”

We say thank you for an entertaining meal and ask for the check. While we’re waiting I head to the bathroom and run into him in the hallway. He follows me into the Ladies’ room to show me how “you can hold hands with the mens’ room” (there was a gap connecting the sinks to the two rooms).

Me : “I think I can take it from here .. thanks”

The bill came along with a couple of shots created especially for us, because he is also a master bartender and cocktail creator, and I must admit the idea crossed my mind that the drinks might have been laced with something. He stood over us while we took the drink and then waited for our approval, which we provided, of course!

We held our breath he wouldn’t ask for our numbers or follow us home. Then laughed at just how absurd and crazy the entire experience seemed to be. The restaurant was wonderful and is even ranked one of the top 100 places to end in London on TripAdvisor. So, if you ever want some free table entertainment and a nice Turkish meal find your way to Kazan near Victoria. Raphael will be waiting to greet you!