A Letter to My Past Loves

Valentine's Day is drawing near and as a single person it is so easy to get caught up in the "withouts" and forget the "have hads." I've valued the relationships I've been blessed to experience and I have also always enjoyed being a single lady. This year I've made a conscious decision to withhold from dating. Therefore, I am dedicating this Valentine's Day to all my past loves and the important roles you've played in making me the person I am today.

To My High School Love

We never actually dated, we were friends but I loved you. We were young, foolish, manipulative and didn't know what we wanted or needed. We moved away, found ourselves a bit more during college and grew apart; but from you I learned intense happiness, and outrageous pain. You taught me how to be strong within myself.

To my College Boyfriend

You taught me respect; how to be respected and how to show it in return. You believed in me and my ability to succeed in a way I had never known before. You were encouraging, unconditionally caring, patient, kind and exactly what I needed at that point in my life. You set the bar high.

To the Man of my Early Twenties

In the beginning of our relationship you taught me how to have fun, to not take things so seriously and just go with the flow. You encouraged me to take chances, move across oceans and really go for what I wanted. But most importantly you taught me relationships are not always easy and you can't always just walk away when it's "not fun anymore." We know we were not right for each other, but you were committed to our relationship during the time we were together. I regard these lessons as the greatest relationships lessons I've learned so far.

To the Man of my Mid Twenties

In so many ways you restored my faith in men. You were the balance between the stable and steady and wild and passionate. However, what is most salient about our time together was the way you inspired in me to succeed at work. Your professionalism, goal setting and consistent push for the next promotion was contagious. This is a drive that has stuck with me today and something I've realised I value in a potential partner.

To the Man of my Late Twenties

You not only reached that bar set ten years earlier, but you pushed it higher. You inspired me to be a better person. You created a calmness and balance in my life and in our relationship that I never knew I could have. You made me understand so much about myself - both in and out of a relationship and gave me the tools to spot good from bad early on. You taught me how to give selflessly 100%, and be assured I was receiving 100% in return as well. You taught me how to have space in a relationship and still feel confident in "us." You weren't perfect and neither were "we" but you showed me that 'good' does exist, and that's huge.

To the Man of my Future

I'm not ready to meet you yet. I'm enjoying my single life. I'm finding myself and loving just being with me. But when it's time for you to come along, then rest assured in knowing I've had some of the best trainers along the way and because of them you'll get the best version of me.